OOPS.

Yesterday as we were coming home from church my mother calls. Well, she called DURING church and I was returning her call after church.
Anyway.
She then tell me that she called me yesterday, did I get the message? No, I didn't. What did you want?
"Why didn't you get the message? What were you doing yesterday?"
Now I will just say here that nothing is ever easy. I can't just ask a simple question and get a simple question. EVER. She can't just tell me what she wanted without me going over every aspect of what I did the day before and reasons I was too lazy to hit the play button on the answering machine.
We get through all of that and she tells me that she was at target yesterday and she saw 2 kitties and just wanted to let me know.
You can feel the boiling now can't you?
Did she get a Kitty? No. But she called.
When I ask why she didn't buy it and bring it to me she said she doesn't have 40 bucks to waste on a stupid cat (GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRR).
I tell her I would have paid her back to which she replies with "uh huh".


I go to Target and I see them. They are both there. The one to the left sees me instantly and mews a greeting. Stupid cat. I pick up the one on the right hoping it is broken but as soon as I have it at eye level it starts. It mews all the way to the front register and startles the feller ringing it up. He he. So it wasn't all bad.
I put it in the truck, back seat, on the floor so it isn't staring at me. I leave it there so I can sneak it in after bed time. It is a Valentines present.

Fast forward to this morning. I procrastinate very much this morning so I am rushed to get them dressed and run out the door. It is so pretty out today and we are going to get Mema (me mudder) and we are going to the park.
While we are getting dressed Madison says she has to go potty. She sits down and goes potty!!
All 3 of us are doing a potty dance and the girls get a mini candy bar as a reward for Maddie going potty (kid loves sugar and I have to get her attention). She is sooo excited and she is going to tell Mema and she is going to be soo proud of her! So we run out the door and bounce into the truck. I open the back door to lift Madison in and I hear "MEW!". I forgot to get the Kitty.
Sarah screams and swings her door open so she can see it.
There is not much I can do from here. I tell them it is for Valentines day and give it to them.
We get to Memas and my mom looks at Sarah holding the Kitty, still in the box and says "I thought you said it was for Valentines day?"
I sigh and set in for another round of 2o questions. Why did I leave it in the truck? Did I not think of it this morning? Why would I give it to them before valetines day? Did I win the lottery that I can just buy the girls 40 dollar presents because it is Monday?? Don't I know that I shouldn't leave things in the truck cause people will steal them? Yada yada yada.

Hide and Seek.

It was quite beautiful out today. A little odd in that it was 65 degrees and we still had a snowman sitting in the front yard. No snow, just the mound that was the snowman. After we got home from breakfast the head had fallen off making it hard to look at. The girls first snowman was dying a snow death in the yard. I couldn't watch.

But the girls wanted to go outside and play. I am not an outdoor playing person. I enjoy a park like the rest of us but backyard? Eh.
But I went. Sarah and I had fun thowing balls at hubby while he rode around on the 4 wheeler. Then Sarah suggested we play hide n seek.
Not a bad idea. Madison does a great job of hiding. She will be clearly visible at all times. In the rare occasion you are not looking in her direction she will give herself away by telling you to look at her!
She didn't much play.
While I was hunting my husband she asked me what I was doing. I told her I was looking for daddy! She said "oh, Daddy is right there." and disclosed his hiding place. I love a good rat.

It was Sarah's turn to hunt and so I took Madison with me to hide. We went and got in the bed of Uncle Drew's truck and laid down. This was perfect! We are laying there, looking up at the cloudless sky through tree branches that are budding for spring. It was so quiet and peaceful. Maddie and I were holding hands and she is studying my finger nails. She tells me she is a good hider and I agreed. she was doing a great job.

It is around this point in time she take my pointer finger and sticks it into her nose. She twists and pulls it out. I look at my finger and there is a booger in my fingernail. I remove it and flick it out of the truck and asked her why she did that. She tells me "I had a booger in my nose!"
I ask her why she didn't get it out on her own.

"Because Mommy! It was a big booger!!"

Yeah, it was a big booger. Crazy kid.

I am going to rip my hair OUT!

Either rip my hair out or put my head through a wall. Maybe kick my butt. Yeah. THAT will teach me. I GIVE UP!
Not really. I can' t give up. You know why? Because I am a frickin mommy that is why. All I want to do is chuck it up into the oh well bin but I have a 4 year old that doesn't forget anything. You think I am kidding? We were walking down an aisle at Target and she says, Mommy, do you remember when we were here with Beaux and we went to starbucks and you got me and Maddie that coffee drink to share?
Yeah. That was a year ago last OCTOBER. The kid doesn't forget. She was barely 3 then. Does not forget.
So of course she is not going to forget that Santa forgot to bring her the illusive white kitty. I didn't know the fricking thing was illusive when I saw it everywhere I went. When it was on Amazon for 25 bucks. Nope. It was everywhere. Everywhere I looked the ugly thing was sitting right there blinking at me. I hate you kitty. I hate you with passions. I hope that Biscut the fur real friends puppy is chewing on your head.
(sigh).
I need that kitty...

RIP dear fridge.

I woke up yesterday and bounced around the house (not as in bouncy ball hyper but as pinball drunken stupor from 5 hours of sleep) getting everyone their "needs". Dog needs out. Kids need juice. Breakfast? ugh. I sleep in my contacts so everything was hazy because I had not put drops in yet so I could not see a frickin thing. Okay. I remember that we have toaster strudels and Sarah saw a commercial and asked if we can get some the day before so I am thinking I will dig them out and make them that for breakfast. Easy, yummy, will buy me a good 15 minutes.
I open the freezer to dig out the box and notice that the first thing I pick up is a little squishy. Things are not supposed to be squishy in the freezer!
The blasted thing died in the night.
Hubby calls and I tell him. He comes home at 11 so we can go find a replacement. Easy right? We measure the hole and go. We find one we like. They can have it to us by Thursday. I have a laundry basket full of freezer food on my back porch packed with snow. Can't keep it that way until Thursday!
We find another one. They can have it in on Thursday.
I think for a moment about his sanity.

We pick a floor model and tell them to wrap it up.
You want to hear a fun thing about fridges? For every minute they are laying down they have to wait an HOUR to be plugged up. True we are only about 10 minutes from home but we needs to plug it up as soon as we get it in. So it was funny watching them stand the fridge up in the back of the truck and us trying to "secure" it with twine. We creep home hoping the thing doesn't fall over... it would be our luck of course.
So we get it home safe and sound. Back the truck up. Guess what! It won't fit through the front door.
It is just funny at this point.
Hubby takes the doors off, and an hour or so later it is in, reassembled and I am stocking it.
I love it.
It is so pretty.
It has ice in the door!
Or at least it will when they hook up the water line.

The Land of Uncare

Okay, it is not so much a land but an existence. I have been there for years. I care about the big stuff, but otherwise.. eh. I don't care. It is right there in the title, I don't care, shut up I'm talking. I don't care.
I go to school when I think of it, cause eh, I don't care.
I don't do housework because I don't care.
I don't leave the house unless someone drags me.
Honestly the list can go on forever because I don't do ANYTHING. I don't care.

So we all remember a couple months ago when I ventured off the birth control and suddenly felt a wave of emotions. It wasn't so much what I felt, or how I felt but the fact that I felt that stood out. I felt. I felt sad. I felt happy. I felt driven. I planned, and plotted and looked ahead. I loved. I FELT.

I put the ring back in and last month I was right back smack dab in the lonely center of I don't Careville. Yeah, it can be fun to not care. But I had fun caring. I laughed over nothing. I laughed till I cried. Ashley was ready to send me upstairs to play with the crazy old people. I felt.
I didn't feel last month. I am back to being bitter and selfish and hateful and rude and go ahead, fill in the blank with the word you think goes here.

So there was a post on knoxmoms.com that got me thinking about the cause of my issues being Birth control. Hormones. Evil hormones. I don't know if it is what is making me feel the way I do, but I know I am willing to stop them and see how it goes. No, I am not trying to get pregnant, Carrie still has to lose a 12 year old, but I want to try to get normal.

I know that today, even at only day 9 with no BC I am feeling the compassion for those I didn't extend it to before. I feel guilt for the way I think about some things. I feel hopeful for the plans I want to make. I feel blessed and humbled. I feel softer. Not in the weak, walk on me soft, I will still kick your tail - watch it. But soft, and comfortable in me. I like it here.

Door to Door Bible Thumpers.

I want to start by saying that although I don't believe you can earn your way into heaven by passing out cards about Jesus, I respect the beliefs of those who do. To each their own. I hope to heaven that these people who are willing to go to a strangers door and spread the love of the word of God with people are rewarded for it later.

HOWEVER

There are so many crazies in this world. I know I read the news too much. I really don't do much else besides read the news. I devour it all day every day. Love it.
I have of course read too much about people getting hurt, killed, raped, beaten... because they let their guard down.

So how do I know you aren't a cleverly disguised meanie posing as a innocent kind hearted Mormon?

Thus, when someone knocks on the door you better believe the only thing I am going to do is double check the dead bolt and try to hush the kids. Which is so frickin hard! Have you ever tried to keep a 2 and 4 year old quiet when someone is knocking at the door? They suddenly forget how to whisper. "Mommy! Who is that!?!?"
SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
"Why do we have to be quiet?!"
GGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The other alternative would be to shout through the door, Thanks, but I am good! Go away!

It surely doesn't make me sound like a nice Christian whose heart is right with God does it? No. It makes me sound rude and hateful. Which most of the time I am fine with, but really... they are holding a bible. It just feels wrong.

But Alas, I have 2 very wonderful little girls and I can't take that risk. There were two of them today. I was out numbered. They were big too, it wasn't like the little Mormons on a bike, they came in a car. A man and a woman. Too much of a risk if you ask me... and they did, by knocking on my door.

I am sorry if I came across as hateful guys, but I am a momma bear just protecting her cubs. But I appreciate your concern for my soul. I really do. I hope they can understand my concern for my children and not hold it against me.

I cut her hair.

My oldest is 4 and almost a half. She has never had a hair cut. Basically she has beautiful hair, always has. When she was little she had the curliest hair ever and honestly I was afraid if I cut her hair the curls would leave and never come back. Scary thought. When she got old enough to care she decided she loves her long hair. She will look in the mirror and say it is beautiful, and it is.

But it is old and has split ends. I was brushing it yesterday and on a whim decided I was going to take it upon myself to cut it. I tell her it will look beautiful and healthy and she agrees, kinda.
I start cutting and realize the scissors are dull. Too late to turn back. I set some hair down on the table next to her and she says "um, mommy, that sure is a lot of hair..."
Yeah baby, it is okay tho. All in all I took off about 5 inches. Put it in a baggie because I have issues with separation okay?

To my glee (!!!) her hair is still curly! Yea! So cute. She is happy, it is still below her shoulders so she can't see the end when it is pushed back.

I did pretty good too, even with the dull scissors, it is straight.

But afterward I was kicking myself. She would have loved to go to a salon and get it done. I didn't think. I must start thinking.