Sunday, January 4, 2009

Bathroom Humor.

After church yesterday Sarah asked if we can go to her favorite restaurant for lunch (since her um, mother was too busy being dramatic to get her breakfast, crying over nothing... telling myself it was PMS). I ask what her favorite restaurant is and she said Chinese. I explain to her that the Chinese restaurants over there suck eggs and she tells me "No! The Chinese restaurant next to Chuck E Cheese's!" Well, that makes more sense. It is a pretty good (if you can look past the health score) Japanese restaurant. Has the buffet section, a kick ass sushi buffet, and a hibachi grill in the middle. Fine. Let us go.
We get there and find it packed. There are 2 hibachi fellers but a line 7 deep. Uh. whateva. I take Sarah with me leaving hubby and Maddie. We do this dance every time we go. I take Sarah, place our order with Hibachi fellers, get Maddie a plate from the buffet and return it to her, go back to get our food and then tag hubby so he can scurry to get his food.
Today however the line is awful. I grab Maddie's food and settle in. Sarah is bouncing in exactly one square foot of space and I am starting the normal threatening, glaring and hand squeezing to keep her still.
We get up to where there is one guy a head of us. Woo hoo. Light at the end of the tunnel. If those people would just hurry up with the grilling already!!
Then of course it happens. Sarah says "Mommy! I have to go Potty!"
me- "Wait a minute." I look and I think they are about finished. So they are going to take this guys order and then I will place mine! Then we can scramble and drop off Maddie's food, run to the potty and be back by the time it is done!
Sarah, after well over a minute "Mommy, I don't think I can wait much longer."
The Hibachi fellers are still buttering veggies and plating. Really, just another minute and they should be done!
She starts bouncing. uh! Fine, lets go! We deliver Maddies food and I tell my hubby that we have not ordered yet, and Sarah has to potty. Sarah is circling the table dancing as she happily places chop sticks at every place. I tell her to come on! There was URGENCY a minute ago and now she is just dancing around the table!
So we go to the bathroom, she sits down and just stares at me. I say WHAT? she says What??
I ask her why she is not peeing! She says because she has to poop!
Yea! great.
So I settle in for the long haul. We hear someone come in and occupy the stall next to us. Sarah says, very loud by the way "mommy! Are they going to go pee pee or poo poo?" I whisper, pleading for her to hush. "But Mommy! What are they going to do!!" I tell her I don't know!
Toilet flushes, stall is vacated.
"Mommy, she must have just gone pee pee cause she was too fast for poo poo."
Lady giggles and leaves.
She then tells me that her arms hurt. I ask her if she is done.
"Mommy! I will tell you when I am done. I am not done, my arms just hurt!!"
"What do you want me to do about that Sarah?"
I am wishing I had my phone so I could call Brad and tell him we are going to be an hour and he can go get himself some food.
"MOMMY!!! My arms Hurt!!"
"Sarah, I can not hold you on the potty. You need to hurry up."
Someone else comes in! Oh great. I lean in and tell her to be quiet.
"Why do I have to be quiet?!" Great. Now I am a freak in a stall with a child I am trying to keep quiet. I lean my head back on the door.
"Mommy! Do you have to pee?"
No Sarah, I am good. Are you almost done?
"Mommy! I already told you I will tell you when I am done! Is that lady going pee pee?"
Yes Sarah, she is going to go pee pee.
After what must have been a good 15 minutes she tells me she is done.
She stands up and I wipe her butt, and she asks me
"Mommy, how many poos did I went?
"Mommy! How many?! Did I go 12 poops?"
Laughing comes from stall next to us. Good, off the hook for being a freak.
Yes Sarah, you went 12 poops. Good girl.

1 comment:

momyshaver said...

you have the patience of a saint. ;)