I miss you... Peanut butter cookie.

I have heard that 6 people have died. BUT I can't find reports on the people who died, were they old? Babies? People with compromised health?
BECAUSE
I thought Salmonella was more of a - you get sick, stomach cramping kinda thing. Gastroenteritis...
Which of course if you are sick, you don't need to add fuel to the fire.

I understand not giving them to my kids. Fine, no PB kids.

So. That being the case. GIVE ME MY FRICKIN PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES BACK!
They have not been selling them for over a week! I am having withdrawals.
You might be thinking Carrie! Why would you want to get sick?
I say to you, my friend...

FAT PEOPLE NEED COOKIES!

But more than that... IF I do eat a cookie and get sick it means

A. I had a great time eating my cookie.
B. Cookie is not going to be in my body long enough to adhere to my hips.
C. Do you know how much weight people lose when they are sick with gastroenteritis?!?!?

Tell me, where is the problem?